Written and performed by Owen Wilson.

"I see all you fresh-faced kidlets, sitting there in your neat little rows, and you're all just pods. Pods, waiting for your instructions. Now, some of you are gonna get zapped right away and be 15-year-old prodigies, little midget Olympic gymnasts with their pictures on cereal boxes. Some of you will go on to college, and you'll find your rhythm there, then go chase down the titans of industry, or maybe straighten out our problems at the UN.

But some of you, and this is the group that no one ever comes into Career Day and addresses, and it's criminal! Some of you are just gonna float along, eating spicy foods, humming black people's music into your 30s. Well into your 30s, languishing.

This group of pods is gonna do a lot of languishing. And you're gonna take some heat for it! Sadly, you will. Europe's a little easier. They seem to understand a little better. So does South America. I went to Argentina one time, and everyone seemed to be sitting around. It was beautiful. 

But, that's okay. You stay loose. Stay liquid. Laugh a lot. But be ready. That's what Dupree's doing with his life's little pod. Staying nimble, till I get the call from the mothership. My raison d'etat. Then I fight! Then you'll see Dupree coming in here throwing seven different kinds of smoke!

Thats fine, the pods that were supposed to hear this did. It'll kick in when it needs to. I'm done here."

- Randolph Dupree